zxen
1 post
21-Nov-2007
11:19 AM
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I seem to have many underlying issues and I have no idea what to do nor anyone to give me advise on what to do. I feel that I am too skinny. Dont get me wrong, I like to be thin, but I seem to constantly lose more weight. (I weight about 115lbs and I am about 5'9" - no im not deathly looking, but I know I am not healty. My boyfriend is always concerned with how skinny I am. Also Id like to add that my mom is the EXACT same way with not eating and cooking for the family but always having a plate that looked like it should feed a baby...but I never used to be like her until about a year and a half ago.) I feel like I am anorexic but at the same time, Im not WANTING to be any skinnier...im simply stuck in this rut and I cant get out for the life of me. I can agree that it is my fault. I NEVER have an appitite. Rarely I will actually want to eat. I know that there is causes such as stress and jealousy...and other day to day issues. But my problem is that I feel like I am trying to work on myself emotionally every day but I still go nowhere with my eating habits. I want to gain weight. I want to look healthy...but even when I force food into my body, I feel so sick. I feel like I need to vomit half way through and I end up giving the rest of my food to my dog...somewhat because my boyfriend gets really mad at me when I dont eat enough and at other times, simply because I cannot force anymore food down. Its odd because he is a fitness freak. You'd think having a person around you like that, would make you want to eat - which I do, but .. I cant. Ive tried to see countless doctors, went on countless medications, and really nothing worked. They have taken so many tests. I just dont have a solution. Am I the only one? Is there anyone out there with my issue?? Signed...
too skinny.
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